some of my Ramona pieces in white mixed with a lace & mesh bralet I just made. most likely will list it on etsy. xx
monangesoismondemon asked: If I don't harm anyone or affect anyone's life by acting out on my fantasy, why should I stop?
You are framing the question in a way that indicates to me that you are actually not interested in receiving an insightful answer. You have already laid the foundations of your inevitable rebuttal (“If I don’t harm anyone,” and “[If I don’t] affect anyone’s life”). You are simultaneously questioning me and challenging me. You likely have a concrete, conclusive view on this topic and my response is probably not likely to alter it in the least. If anything, you’re defensively probing for my opinion, almost trolling. but I’ll answer your question anyway since other people might actually be compelled to seriously consider what I have to say.
If you are masturbating to your own thoughts then your criteria for why you shouldn’t stop can be rationalized. Potential ethical dilemmas can arise if you acknowledge that fetishizing abusers, rapists or physically violent individuals is immoral and/or that sexualizing violence against others (adults, children or animals) is also immoral. This can present as an issue if the core of your fantasies are centered around sadism or acts of violence. Masturbating to thoughts of violence being committed against others reinforces the association of violence as pleasurable (bringing yourself to orgasm at the thought of hurting anything living) and if you have any personal issues regarding impulsivity, failure at being able to readily respect people’s boundaries or intrusive thoughts that takes you to your violent mental fantasy world during everyday life, then you have even more problems that you need to solve.
If you are engaging other individuals to fulfill your fantasy, then you may encounter ethical dilemmas depending on how much value you place on certain acts and their implications in society. For a lot of BDSM practitioners and kinksters, the basis of moral reasoning revolves around “consent”, not whether or not physical harm is being done (which can occur in the process of slapping, punching, choking, flogging, kicking, the use of knives, gun props or actual firearms, restraints, bagging, ‘erotic’ electroshock or electro-stimulation, etc) or mental harm (such as a ‘submissive’ partner disassociating during an act or scene, sometimes referred to as “sub space”).
For a lot of BDSM practitioners or kinksters, even the concept of “harm” is different. So I actually wish you were more specific in the wording and framing of your question, because your conceptualization of what it means to cause harm may differ from how a person who is kink critical thinks of harm. Harm for someone who is pro-BDSM and pro-violent kinks may be violating boundaries, acting out violently against another person within boundaries is not likely to be identified as harmful. For someone who is either anti-BDSM or kink critical, consent is greatly significant, but when it comes to analysis, the physical impact, psychological consequences, and socio-cultural ramifications of practicing BDSM is even more emphasized because kink critical individuals analyze issues on a collective, macro-scale, not an individualistic, highly personalized, micro-scale.
For whether or not you should stop if it involves someone else depends both on your mental health and that of the individuals you are involving in your acts. If the fantasy incorporates acts of violence or relies on an individual being a sadist or a masochist, you are reinforcing a permissive perception that that mentality and the behavior that emerges from actualizing it is acceptable.
To incorporate [radical] feminist theory: If the person you are engaging with is male and they are dominating you, on a micro-sexual scale you are re-enacting an oppressive, patriarchal dynamic (People who are liberal feminists may reply by saying that what matters most is whether or not you feel personally empowered and liberated submitting to a man, but feeling a certain way about sexualizing your own subordination does not stop it from being subordination and if you consider yourself radically progressive, you’ll likely stop).
Pink by the23rdcat
"Men celebrated our sexual liberation — our willingness to freely give and enjoy blow jobs and group sex, our willingness to experiment with anal penetration — but ultimately many males revolted when we stated that our bodies were territories that they could not occupy at will. Men who were ready for female sexual liberation if it meant free pussy, no strings attached, were rarely ready for feminist female sexual agency. This agency gave us the right to say yes to sex, but it also empowered us to say no."
"All white women in this nation know that their status is different from that of black women/women of color. They know this from the time they are little girls watching television and seeing only their images. They know that the only reason nonwhites are absent/invisible is because they are not white. All white women in this nation know that whiteness is a privileged category. The fact that white females may choose to repress or deny this knowledge does not mean they are #ignorant: it means that they are in denial."